Lost

Disappointment has made my heart cold
sheltered from the one i needed most
My face bares a mask I cannot remove
My heart speaks certain words I cannot dispute
I'M LOST WITHOUT YOU
my brickwall exterior refuses to acknowledge this but inside its all too evident
In my mind it finally registers I want u with me always
but i dont know how to get back
how to rewind time and go to the happy days
When my heart,body and soul breathe and lived for you
I dont know how to erase all my mistakes
and how to come clean and pure as you want
my mind and heart are split
I want to be good but evil continually entices me
I miss,need,want,adore you
A piece of my heart is missing...where my first love once resided

Beauty is skin deep -.- Oh! really

My perception of beauty has been highly distorted
I proclaim that beauty is only skin deep and in the eye of the beholder
but my own mouth laughs at my naivety
the world is a superficial place and i fear vanity has taken over me
My mind disapproves of the lighter is better concept
My mouth screams the blacker the berry the sweeter the juice
but my heart incresed beats seem to mock my own words
slowly these words become a blur and appear to be lies
I want to scream I'm beautiful but its hard to when the world doesnot see this
Actually for once in the human race I will stop lying to myself
allow me to rephrase the sentence, I want to scream out I'm beautiful
but as i stare into the mirror all I see are my words slowly evolving into lies
If i cant see my so called black ebony beauty how can i possible expect the world to
my  perception of beauty has been long distorted
but my mouth spreads lies so the world can believe i have accepted my seemingly self proclaimed beauty
Self hate feels me as even i cannot accept my self